I need to start a band

Three days in a row I was asked if I was in a band. I have never been in a band or even have any resemblance of musical talent. I love music but can not play it, which is why I love being asked this question. I guess I give off the band impression with my strange band shirts, homemade shirts, interesting pencil line drawing design shirts, boot-cut jeans that fit, and a pair of loafers. Doesn't help I've been hanging out with friends this summer who also look the same. So when we are together I guess we give off that band vibe. It was especially odd on Thursday when we walked into the Bug Jar we were asked if we were in the band (I assume Bible of the Devil). Of course I said no. Realizing the awesomeness of being in a band but not exactly having one, Pete and I vowed to always say 'yes' if asked the question again. I failed that test twice the next two days.

So to remedy that situation I need to start a band. At the moment I have two ideas for a band that stem from the main points of music - getting chicks, getting drunk, and artistic expression. My first band involves the first two and my second band involves the last. See after realizing that whinny acoustic playing emo brats have whinny emotional artsy girls throw themselves all over these whinny acoustic playing emo brats but are too sad over their first love to do anything, I have decided to tap this market. Since I am not all that whinny, nor am I emotional, and honestly haven't loved anyone per say I'm walking into a glod mine. However, I also realized that there is another market untapped and that is the dark, gothic, and angry market. Metal heads are just butt ugly and these stay as far away as possible. Note these girls are also just as crazy and emotional as the ones that love acoustic music. So as long as I combine both genres I can perform a super band. I now present you Acoustic Black Emotional Metal. So I get drunk, throat my way through emotional songs about my love of Satan and the devil that dumped me for a fresh corpse and I wait for the 'killer' paychecks.

My other band isn't as exciting but involves keyboards, a sampling machine, a turntable, mixer, and a CD turntable. I then blend my love of odd samples, records from the 40's and 50's, book on tapes, hip-hop, and metal in a melting pot of pure shit and mayhem. Yet it'll be so artistic and bad people will love it. After doing it as a joke I'll start taking it serious. I'll do 50 minute interviews how I'm deconstructing music into a conglomerate of noise that reflects the current state of affairs going on in and how is damaging their .

So more or less I just make myself into a pretencious ass that takes himself way too seriously.